This will take some doing. But, if we all pull together we should be able to get it done.
Okay, first everyone needs to get some soup cans. Make sure they are clean and that there are no sharp edges. We don't want anyone to lose a ear.
Next, we need string. Lots and lots of string.
Everyone should remember how to make a string phone. If you don't, just ask one of us old farts. That will work as long as none of us have lost our childhood memories.
Next, we need tons of wax to smear on all of the strings. Ear wax does not work. Plus, its hard to get the amount that we would need. Then once we all have our soup can phones, we just all connect them together!
And there we have it -- a new phone system. And if it gets hacked, we have lots of string to tie them up with so we can ship them back to DC.