Tuesday, January 19, 2016

A SLOW CREEP IS CREEPING UP

It's slow. And it is creeping up and getting nearer. There is nothing that can be done. It's going to happen. I would change it if it were possible. It creeps up on all of us. Every day of the year. It creeps up and gets someone. Man, woman, child. Male or female, it doesn't matter, it gets us all. Some enjoy it. Others, maybe not so much.

What am I talking about? BIRTHDAYS! Pappy quit counting his when he was like in his late 50's. Ever since I could remember, he was always saying that he was 39 years old. He was in his 70's when he passed. I've seen and known some "older" people who still act like they are back in high school. One lady I know is over eighty and still likes to go out and dance if she can find a guy to keep up with her.

Take me for example. A lot of my family members tell me all the time that I'm still just like a overgrown kid. I admit that I can go a little overboard when doing some things. Why, just the other day, a guy and I had a race to see who could get to the bathroom first. He cheated. A friend and I went out for lunch last week for all you can eat pizza. I wolfed nine slices. He only ate four. If I had had beer, it might have been 14 slices. 'Course, we won't talk about how I was the next day or two.

I bet I can still ride a Big Wheel through Red Rocks Park, if you beef up the frame on it then help me get off the thing and back on my feet. I can still roll down a hill. Even when I don't want to.

So, I'm now declaring. I will not turn 60 in February!

I'm going to do like Pappy, but I'll start at 59 and work backwards. So, I'll be 58 this year, and 57 next year. Now if I can just figure out how to avoid looking older. Like the lady that my grandmother knew. She paid to have a face lift once. A couple years later, instead of getting another one -- I swear this is true -- she showed up at our house smelling a bit strange, but looked like she had a newer face.

She told my grandmother that instead of paying for a face lift that she was using Preparation H on her face. Tightened everything right up! Smelled a bit, along with old lady perfume. She was quite proud of how she looked and wanted to go out and have dinner someplace. I told them I had a date and couldn't go with them. Grandmother said something like "coward" under her breath.

They went out. Grandmother didn't talk to me for three days. 

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