WORK OUT 'TIL YOU DROP

OMG! Kathi and I went out last night to a self defense class that lasted an hour. Yours truly lasted all of 20 minutes out of that hour. Talk about being out of shape, even though round is a shape! Man, oh man, think way back to when you were a kid and you had PE class in grade school. Remember any of the stuff you did?

Last night we did jumping jacks for about 10 minutes. I started out strong then decided to slow down some. I didn't want to show off in front of everybody. So after like 10 jumping jacks my legs were screaming, "What in the heck are you doing?! Are you crazy! Set your butt down and just watch these crazy people." Well, I made it through the jumping jacks, then they wanted us to go right into squats. Now, how often do you "squat" during the day? I don't, I bend a lot. It is easier to bend than squat. When I squat it requires a chair, sofa, wall, or even someone else to help me get back up. When we were kids we used to squat all the time.

After doing squats, they had us run across this skinny room. We had so many people in the class that they had us on two opposite sides of the room. When he said go, we ran at each other, having to dodge each other. Then, after about 5 minutes of that we had to run backwards. So there were about 20 people in this room, and everyone is running backwards and you have to dodge people coming from the other direction. I was doing good. My legs were screaming at me to quit and go set down. But I hung in and was tripped by someone. I did a backward somersault that would have made my grade school PE teacher proud: I came up on my feet. Then they had us do some stretching, then we moved into defense moves.

When they started that I had to go set down. After about a 3 minute break I was up and knee kicking the crap out of this big pad that someone had to hold. It felt pretty good. Man, I was a machine! I kicked with my left knee, I kicked with my right knee. My legs were telling me that they were going to quit and go home, if Kathi will take them. Man, this was just a beginning intro class for self defense. I had to go and set out the rest of the class.

For awhile, I just sat and sweated and sweated. Then I got a little light headed so I stepped outside. I didn't toss my cookies, I just sort of felt a little bit queasy. So I sat with Kathi and watched the rest of the class from the sidelines. No one belittled me or made comments about me setting the rest of the class out.

Krav Maga is a form of martial art like no other I have been in. Krav Maga is a form of Israeli self defense. The moves are a lot easier to do and the training is more intense than other forms such as Kung Fu or Karate. But besides teaching this they also have fitness classes. They have what is called a crossfit program. Crossfit is the principal strength and conditioning program. It will get you in shape for Krav Maga, or just get you in the best shape ever, and it is for everyone. They also have a kids program.

So, as we watched them doing knee kicks and such I just happened to notice that Kathi had this little smile on her face. Guess what? As soon as the class was over, Kathi had jumped up and ran over to talk to one of the instructors. I was busy, trying to get out of the chair I had been setting in. My legs had left the building! As I managed to get to my feet one of the guys in the class came over and asked if I was doing okay. I told him I was fine, as I held onto the back of the chair in front of me. He was nice and said that I had good form on my knee kicks. I thanked him and asked him how long he had been at this. He and his wife have been at it for like 6 months. He looked good, so did his wife. His wife was out there kicking butt with some of the bigger guys in the class and she didn't give any ground to these guys.

But joking aside, I think that for a self defense type of class, women ought to check it out. Or maybe, if it is too intense, check out some other form of martial arts. We all ought to know how to protect ourselves. Even if you only learn a few moves that could one day save your life. I think that Kathi and I might be checking out their crossfit program in the near future. It is time for the Isle of Belly to disappear! Kathi got all of her questions answered by the instructor. I went to ask a few of my own, and when I asked him a question, Kathi said she had the skinny on it. I tried another question and Kathi said she had the info for it also.

So, we will see where this leads. Kathi could be the next bad a** Krav Maga kid. Me, I'm going to have a long talk with my legs.