SNOTFUNNY

Some call it allergies, some call it hay fever. I call it: SNOTFUNNY ('Cause it's not funny.) I hate when allergy time comes. I hate the runny nose and constant blowing of said nose. I have called in herds of elk from blowing my nose. I once even heard that they found a herd of elephants in the Rockies on their way to Colorado. It was my fault. I hate having my head feel like a weather balloon. Sometimes it feels so big, I'd swear that I could give the Goodyear Blimp a run for the money. And I don't dare go out on a windy day. I'm afraid that with my head being so big, I would end up in Kansas. Or worse, in the land of Oz, with all the flying monkeys poking at my head with sticks. Or the munchkins rolling me down the yellow brick road. This only happens when I'm taking nighttime medicine, but it seems real enough. I must go through 100 boxes of Kleenex or, as I start to call them, snot rags after about the third box. I have never known anyone who can go through that many boxes and still have a nose. My nose has been rubbed raw so many times that I know longer have to worry about it getting sunburned. 'Cause it will be red for the rest of the summer. And then we have the watery eyes. Now what in the heck can you do about them? My eyes water so much that we wouldn't have a water shortage every summer here in Colorado. They water so much that you could white water raft for the whole summer. And when all of this comes together you have one miserable spring after another. So, I think that we should not have spring. Go from winter right to summer. That way, no runny nose or watery eyes, no stuffed up heads, and we could put the Kleenex people out of business. Plus, I wouldn't have to run from the flying monkeys any more.