NEW! WEIGHT LOSS TECH

I don't know if any of you saw this on Yahoo this morning. We now have a new way to lose weight. It is caffeine pants.

So now all you need is to pour your morning coffee into your shorts.

Now before you do this, I'm talking about just the ground up beans. If you pour your morning coffee in your shorts, first, you will burn certain things that should never be that hot! Second, you will have wet shorts. And third, you will stain your shorts brown. Unless, you already have brown shorts.

The way they say this works is that your butt, thighs, and whatever else absorbs the caffeine and it will melt the fat away. I think it does not melt the fat off, but rubs it raw. Like using sand paper. So if that is how it works, why not just have your shorts made of sand paper?
Or, just go to the beach or your hardware store and buy a bag or two of sand. Then fill 'em up.

I'm sorry, you tea drinkers will have to find another way to lose the unwanted pounds.

Though I also wonder if different brands of coffee work better than others. . .

Plus, can you use instant coffee for instant weight loss? For when you need to lose that weight for a party this Friday night.

And what about cream and sugar?

If you are wearing your coffee shorts, how do you dip your morning doughnut?

People need to know these things before starting any weight loss program.

I think we need a lot more research.