NINTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Well, today is our ninth wedding anniversary. And what are you supposed to get your spouse? If it was our first, I could get her something of paper, like a 4 pack of toilet paper. You know. Something useful. Or, if it were our tenth, it should be tin or aluminum. So, a six pack might be in order. And who makes anything out of tin any more?

She has jewelry, and some diamonds. And she got a new stove several years ago. She has ALL the pampered poo poo (Pampered Chef ) stuff for the kitchen. She has more collars for Nugget. He could wear two a day, and still not go through them all in a week. And she has some really nice clothes. And I urge her on to get more. And she has a spouse that would give her the moon if he could. (I'm whupped, and I know it. But so is she. ) Course, what in the heck would you do with the moon?!

If I try to talk her into getting something for herself, besides Sonic, she lots of time refuses. (She hardly ever refuses a drink from Sonic!)

She says that she has all that she wants. And of course, being male, I take her at her word. BUT, sometimes when a female says she has all she wants. That what it really means is that there is still that ONE thing. That us guys have NO idea what in the world it is. And if we ask, you all say there is nothing else you want. AND, that is why most of us older guys, have no hair, 'cause we pull it out trying to think of what it is you want. And we have no teeth, 'cause we are grinding them down knowing that there is that ONE thing, that we have never gotten you.

We end up with sun spots all over our bodies, spending hours and hours out in the hot sun, going from store to store in search of that ONE thing. And you think that when we are out in the garage on our anniversary, instead of spending time in the house with our lovely spouses, we are really calling everybody we know (male of course ) and every store we can think of, (Target, Wal -Mart, Sears, Bass Pro, and the like) trying to get a lead or a hint of what that ONE thing is.

I can't even pull a Fred Flintstone and get her a bowling ball. She already has one! With even her own shoes and bag.

The new stuff they say is for your ninth anniversary is leather. And we both know that we have plenty of that. So I won't say any more.

So, here is to my wife of nine wonderful, fun filled, and romantic years. You are the light of my life. And you saved me. You have brought a smile to my face and a spring to my step. (Not bad for a old guy.) You are my soul mate, and I'm sorry it took so long for us to be together. (Better late than never.) You are my best friend and lover, and I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us.

Plus, you can throw out your running shoes now. I'm caught, hook, line, and sinker. I'm yours for as long as you will have me. (Pushing for 50 more years, or more. ) And yeah, I admit it to the whole world.

I'M WHUPPED AND LOVING IT !!!!
(Just wait until tonight. HUBBA HUBBA !! )

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!!