Tuesday, November 1, 2011


I see that some of the followers of this blog had some good times at Halloween parties last night. Others just hung out at home. We had only 11 treaters at our house. So someone is going to have to take care of the leftover candy we have.

How many Jolly Rancher candies can you put in your mouth at one time? How many apples can you bob for? How many of those little Snicker candy bars will fit in your mouth? Did you get to walk with any of those little ones in your family? How many times did you go back to the same house, that gave out the best candy? Did you pile all of the candy on the table? Pick out what you like? And then put the stuff you don't like back in the bowl to be handed back out to someone else?

Man, if I could count how many times I did that as a kid. Seemed like I had enough candy from Halloween that it would last till almost New-Year's Eve. 'Course some of the chocolate bars had kind of turned white by then. But hey, candy is candy. We used to do the same at Easter. Stash that candy. Every now and then we may have overlooked an Easter egg that ended up in the bottom of our basket.

I did that one year. I stashed my Easter candy in its basket, in my closet, in a cubby hole, not knowing that one of them sneaky Easter eggs had worked it's way to the bottom of the basket. Needless to say, after about a month after Easter there was this bad smell coming from my room. And for the life of my parents, they could not figure what it was. They knew it was coming from my room, but could not pin point it.

Me, on the other hand? I didn't smell a thing. My Dad thought for sure that it was some old rotten underwear. They made me clean my room several times. But, the smell was still there and getting worse. My Dad thought maybe by this time that it was several pairs of rotten shorts. Mom, on the other hand, made the mistake of opening my closet door. Poor woman. Dropped right to her knees and turned a nice shade of this weird green, and lost her lunch, right there in my closet.

When I was a child, when told to clean my room, I took EVERY HING that was on the floor, chairs, desk, bed, door knob, hanging on the door, and shoved it all into my closet on the floor. I had so much stuff on the floor of my closet that I could have hidden all the gold from Fort Knox there and nobody would have known.

So, Mom has ralphed in my closet. She was still green, and her eyes had kinda rolled up in her head. And then, she kinda stood up on wobbly legs. She did not ask me, but TOLD me to drag out EVERYTHING in that closet, NOW! She would not even let me put on gloves or one of them paper mask things. So, I went to work, dragging stuff out. Man, I found stuff that I hadn't played with in like 5 years.

The ralph clothes went to the laundry room. (She made me do the laundry.) All of the other stuff was thrown out or put in boxes for storage. After all that work, we still could not figure what the smell was. By then, I had forgotten about the Easter basket in the cubby hole.

That year, at Christmas, I got more packages of underwear and after shave. I think that some lady from Avon got rich that Christmas. It wasn't until about the age of 15 or so that we had a major water leak from the bathroom and had to rip out the wall of my closet.

Guess what? We found an old Easter basket. And it still had some CANDY in it! And this fuzzy looking stuff that was fossilized. My Dad made me take it out to the field behind our house and bury it. He didn't want to bury it in our yard. He was afraid that the cops would show up and think that we had a body buried out back or that our cat would dig it up.

That was one of my past Halloweens as a kid.

Oh yeah. . . 20 Jolly Ranchers fit in my mouth back then or 9 little Snickers bars. Now, I didn't do this all at one time. One, was on a dare. The other was a bet. Boy, I had great friends back then, right?


  1. Flier - you are on crazy...well you know what i mean. it starts with M and has an F in the middle. and i love these stories that you tell. please keep telling them!

    your friend,


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