Thursday, April 19, 2012

ON MY SOAPBOX: BULLYING

I might be opening a can of worms here. But what the heck. Sometimes worms come in handy.

We have a nine year old boy who stood up to his bully here in Denver. Both boys have been suspended. I say HOORAY for that kid. He followed the rules, and had told teachers about the bullying. Nothing was really done. His parents also knew. They told him that if he needed to defend himself, to do so.

The bullies had been beating on this kid. He was kicked in the back and groin, and hit in the face. The bullying had been going on for quite some time. He finally had enough and punched his tormentor in the face.

I, as a child, was also bullied. I took crap off of them for years. It started in first grade and went on until seventh grade when I had finally had enough. I struck back. And yes, it felt good.

There were others who thought they could bully me also. I got my butt kicked several times, but I tried to give as much as I got. After each fight, the bullies would leave me alone. I got their respect one way or another. I never went looking for a fight, and I never bullied others.

Back then, a lot of us had access to firearms. As kids, we grew up around them because our parents hunted or were into shooting for sport. Never once, in all of those years, did any of us take a firearm to school or have the intention of causing harm. If we had a problem with some one, we settled it with fists.

Nowadays, you get arrested if you defend yourself on the playground -- or if you defend yourself anywhere. I have a special needs child. He is now in his 20's. When he was a child, he was picked on by a school bully. It had been going on through several grades. His mom, my ex, DID NOT want him to be fighting. His stepdad and I also didn't want him to be fighting, but we both DID want him to protect himself.

One day at school, during recess, the bully started in on my son. Bryan, my son, had brought to school that day, his baseball glove and bat. Bryan carried the glove in one hand and had the bat over his shoulder. The bully stood right in front of Bryan, called him several names, and then punched Bryan in the stomach.

Bryan never dropped his baseball glove. He still had the bat over his shoulder, and he took the bat from his shoulder to the kid's head. A swing, if you can call it that, of about a foot or less. Not a lot of power behind it. But enough to bring tears to the bully's eyes. Bryan, upon seeing the tears in the bully's eyes, dropped the bat and glove and, with tears in his own eyes, went and told on himself to the playground teacher.

Bryan's mom was not too happy. She was upset, which I can understand. We all had a talk with Bryan. As Bryan's mom turned her back to Bryan's stepdad and I, he and I gave each other a thumbs up sign. We were glad that Bryan had stood up for himself. Bryan never had another fight.

And the bully? Well he and Bryan became friends. Kids of all ages are going to have a bully sometime in their life. Heck, I know a few adults who have a bully to this day.

I think that we have taken the rules too far. Kids will be kids. But, now it seems that they all think they are entitled to everything. Parents buy cars for their kids now. When I was old enough to drive, I worked to save money to buy a car. Are parents now just trying to buy their kids' affection? I would say it is something to at least think about.

There are way too many spoiled and undisciplined brats running around. And just think: one day they will be running this country. In charge, when we are old.

Scary thought.

11 comments:

  1. ok...first off - your last paragraph is one that scares the beejeezuz out of me!!!

    next, and this is going to be a long comment - so get a coffee - i couldn't agree with you more that this bullying stuff is not being addressed properly by schools!

    now for a few stories: my brother was being picked on by several boys who were older than him. he got a new sled for xmas that he loved - he took it to the local sledding area and some bullies took it from him and used it. they always gave it back at dark because they knew that he had to be home at dark. this happened for several days unbeknownst to any of us. after a few days of him not being allowed to use his new sled because the bullies were using it, he brought a bat to the sledding area. when the bullies tried to take his sled, he threatened them with the bat. 3 of the guys backed off, but one of them still kept trying to get the sled from him. he whacked that kid in the head hard enough to knock him unconscious for several hours. ambulances and police were involved. no charges were laid. but the bully's mother came to our house the next day and tried to lay in to my mom and dad. my dad picked up the same bat and told the bully's mom to get lost or she was gonna get knocked unconscious, too!!!

    another time, i was playing in the yard with my friend. a young neighbour girl came running up the street and told me that "the jambuckets" had my sister cornered down on 6th street and that my sister was crying. i told the neighbour girl to go into my house and tell my dad. i ran as fast as i could to 6th street and sure enough the jambuckets had my sister cornered. my sister was 8 and the jambucket girls were 12 and 13. they were trying to get my sister to give them her quarter. i jumped in and yelled "leave my sister alone"! the 13 yr old jambucket hit me straight in the face and i was kissing concrete in about a second!!! i was only 9 and smaller than my sister. no worries though, as my strapping, large coal-mining father had seen the whole thing. imagine him picking up the 13 year old jambucket by the throat and asking her "hey, do you like it when someone bigger than you picks on you?". she was dangling from his hand for several seconds - needless to say - the jambuckets never picked on either of us anymore!

    my father caught one of the boys from our street trying to poke our old cat with a stick behind the barn. my father whipped off his belt, bent that kid over his knee and whacked him six times with the belt on his bare bum. every kid in my area knew not to mess with us or else my father would give them a whooping!

    all of this to say, Flier, buddy - i long for a time when bullies were put in their places! i don't think this new "zero-tolerance" thing is working. i think more kids are being bullied than ever before - and now they are not even able to defend themselves. and neither are their parents. the world just keeps getting sicker.

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Note to all...stay on kymbers good side, at all times. and at all costs.

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  2. kymber, your Dad sounds like mine.
    OK,here I go again. I think they need to make some changes. You have a problem with a bully. Maybe we should have boxing. I also think that parents are not doing enough to raise their kids. Teach some manners, and morals. I also think that they should have gun safety classes in every school. I know that a lot of parents work, and everyone seems to be on a different schedule. I think that family's should eat at least one meal a day, together, as a family. And there should be more family time.

    I know of several friends of mine that didn't really have a home life. And the parents were to busy to see what their kids were up to. They are still struggling, as adult's. there kids run the streets. and have had problems. Two of them are now spending more time with their kids, and it seems to have helped. One child is now making A's in school. I'm sorry. I just think that a lot of this is the parents not doing the parenting.

    OK,Off my soap box again. Sorry about that.

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  3. A kitchen broom used like a bat also works. Flat broom head against the back. Asswipe never bothered me again.

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  4. Rob, what ever it takes. As long as it works.

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  5. You are so completely dead on with this one. The campaign against bulky in my kids school makes me nuts. They have poster after poster and assembly after assembly teaching how to be a victim. No matter what the bully does never fight back...what?! They think kids can't learn the difference between when it's better to walk away and when it is time to fight and defend yourself. I de-program my kids everyday.

    When our oldest son was young he was bullied at school, but the teachers wouldn't do anything, so one day he fought back and got suspended. He was in kindergarten. Kindergarten. Even in my whimpy anti gun mind I knew that didn't make sense. We took him for ice cream. Now, I did tell him it was wrong to fight and I was wrong in a lot of ways, but the school did not provide a safe environment and then blamed a 6 year old for saying enough! It's bull!

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    1. agirlandhergun, you are so right. It really ticks me off. And it is one thing out of many that really riles me up.

      My Dad use to say, Don't ever start a fight. But, if you end up fighting. I'll stand behind you, and get you back in school if they kick you out. I'd laugh, and tell him, he didn't have to rush, to get me back in. A day or two without school wouldn't really be a bad thing. He ended up coming to the school, maybe six times or so. Because of the bully problem I had.

      Thanks for stopping by.

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  6. It absurd...someone can pick on your kid for MONTHS and the minute your kid retaliates, they get suspended, and in our county, you and your child have to go to court the next day and then your child does community service in an orange jumpsuit like a regular felon. Here's the kicker...both kids get suspended whether the bully stands their and pummels your kid and your kids doesn't even attempt to fight back. So in our house, we tell em try to walk away, but if they hit you, you have our permission to defend yourself and give him a good ol' farm-boy ass-kickin' and we will gladly take you to court the next day.

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    1. mandy_farmer, If more parents would do that. I really think that the bully problem would be a lot less. plus, if you know that your going to get suspended, even if you don't fight, you might as well get in a few licks while you can.

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  7. My wife teaches and I explained to her during her first years that if little boys were allowed to fight and establish a "pecking" order, that Columbines would never happen. She didn't get it at first and then after a few months she realized I was right. I told here that whether you like it or not, in life, there is a pecking order and there will be some bruises on the road to establish it, but once everyone gets it figured out, the crap stops. As long as a bullied kid tries to fight back and holds his own, even if he gets his ass handed to him, the bullies will respect him and it will end. That's life...not fair, but that's it. The "educators" of America will never understand and that's why little boys are being raised as sissies in school. Sorry. My soapbox must have been next to yours. Have a good 'un, friend.

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    1. Hillbilly, your so right. You can have your soap box next to mine any time you want. The whole issue, just really frost's my a**. Kids will be kids no matter what. And, it is one of life's lesson's.

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