DRIVE IN

Remember the drive in movies? It seemed like there was at least one in every town. They all have, except for a few, gone the way of the Dodo bird. The only one I know of right now in Colorado is one that is a motel/drive in. You can watch a movie from a rented room. Or I guess you could set in your car and watch. There is also an alligator farm down the road. Go figure.

Anyway, the drive in was fun. You could take a date or take a bunch of friends. At some drive in's, they would let in a whole carload of people for like three dollars. I can remember loading up 15 people in my old Chevy Biscayne. And that was without putting people in the trunk! The trunk would be loaded up with popcorn, candy, a cooler or two for pop or beer. We would take and make our own popcorn. Many a mom would let us use their popcorn makers.

We would go get a whole package of popcorn, pop it, and then put it in trash bags or paper grocery bags. (Remember bagging your groceries in paper bags?) It took several people popping corn to fill the bag's. Pop was pretty cheap and so was the beer, if you didn't mind drinking some really bad, cheap stuff. Then it was a matter of picking up everyone and getting to the drive in before the movie started.

The drive in was also a great place to go on a date. It didn't cost you an arm and leg to take your girl out. And you could double date. You would want to pick the right movie. The horror movies were the best. It would get to a scary part and your date would let out a scream and jump into your arms. 'Course, I had that backfire once.

A buddy of mine and his date decided to go with us on a date to see Jaws. We picked up our dates and made our way to the drive in. We didn't have any popcorn or stuff to drink, so we hit the concession stand.
We bought two big buckets of popcorn and some drinks. We made our way back towards our car and made some plans along the way. He and his date would set up front and towards the right side of the front seat. Me and my date would take the back seat and set towards the left side of the seat. That way, you're not blocking the view of each other. (Like your really going to watch the movie, right?)

As the movie progressed, things were going good. We were right at the part where the shark bashes in the back of the boat. It was unexpected and lots of folks let out screams. And, so it was in our car! Except, my buddy was the one to let out this girly scream. I mean one of them real high squeaky type of girly screams. And when he screamed, he threw his bucket of popcorn up in the air. His date screamed, cause he screamed. And the car was full of popcorn, front and back, and a drink or two was in the mix.

Now, this friend of mine? He's a man's man. Real deep voice like a fog horn. He looks kinda like Animal from the muppets. Drives a muscle car. Gets into fights, and doesn't take crap off of nobody . . . and he lets out this girly scream. I mean, I'm laughing so hard that I had to get out of the car. Everyone around us was looking, and there we all were with popcorn and pop all over us. My buddy was telling me to be quiet and quit laughing.

His date was then in tears 'cause she was drenched in pop and the popcorn is sticking to her all over and the seats of the car were wet, and there was popcorn stuck to the head liner and on the windows. It was so bad that the manager came out to the car and actually told us to keep it down. Cars were honking, head lights were flashing, and my buddy was chasing me around the car. I couldn't stop laughing, and my date was setting on the ground laughing, too.

We were asked to leave. Can you believe it? As we left, cars honked and kids we knew from school made remarks, laughed at us, and just gave us all kinds of grief. I was still laughing and getting punched in the arm by my buddy. The girls were getting madder than two wet hens. Wait! They WERE wet. We took them right home.

My date snickered and said she had a real good time. I tried to pick some of the popcorn out of her hair. As we walked towards her front door we both started to laugh again. Her mom opened the door when she heard us. She had a funny look on her face as her daughter stepped into the house. Neither one of us said a word. She walked in and her mom closed the door.

I was laughing all the way back to the car. My buddy wasn't. He dropped me off at my house. I have no idea how it went when he took his date home. The next day, I had bruises on my arms from my buddy slugging me so many times. I called his house and his mom said that he was out getting his car cleaned. I found him at the car wash, bent over with the vacuum hose in hand, sucking the soggy popcorn out of his car.

He gave me a bad case of stink eye and I knew I was in for it. So I stood on the far side of his car. I was informed, in no certain terms, was I EVER to say a word about "The Scream." I promised. 'Course, one or the other of our dates had different plans. He still catches it from time to time as the years have come and gone. I can still bust a gut just thinking about it. My buddy sold his muscle car years ago. He told me about how, as he was cleaning it out, he found some old petrified popcorn between the cushions in the backseat.

He said that it brought a smile to his face. His wife wanted to know what he was smiling about. He told her. They called me the next day. She wants to try to get him to scream like that so she can hear it.

I told her to go rent the movie Jaws.