Thursday, May 17, 2012

POOP SCOOPIN'

Scoopin' poop. Everyone has done it  at one time or another. Litter box scoopin', dog poo scoopin', rabbit poo scoopin'. . . the list could go on and on.

On a ranch or farm there seems to be more poop scoopin' than other places. I've done more than my fair share of scoopi'n over the years. When we first came to Colorado, Pappy, my grandfather, had rabbits. Lots of rabbits. A whole chicken house full! I remember going out with him to feed his rabbits. Of course, all that food makes for lots of rabbit poo. (I once was told the little pellets were raisins. Yet still, I'm not warped. . .) Along with the rabbits that Pappy butchered were the little bunnies he sold. He also sold rabbit poo. The rabbit poo was watered down in a pile outside of the chicken house, and mixed with some shredded newspaper and garbage, like coffee grounds, crushed egg shells, and all the other stuff you use to make compost.

He would bag it up and sell it to the neighbors for their gardens of flowers and such. I thought it was fun to go into the rabbit house, scoop up the poo, and put it in a wheelbarrow. I was helping. And I got paid 25 cents. So, that was my first poop scooping experience. Then we moved and had to get rid of all the rabbits.

We got a dog. Second poop scooping experience. But, it wasn't like doing the rabbit poo. I didn't really care for having to do it.

Then my sister and I got to go to the ranch. My aunt and uncle had this huge ranch up in Kremmling. There were cows, horses, chickens, goats, lambs, dogs, cats, and some wild critters that came up to the ranch house, such as elk, deer, skunks, rabbits, and even a mountain lion once or twice. (I think they could smell some of old Joe's water repellent or bug spray.) There was even a bear or two because of Aunt Nadine's berry patch. So, there was tons of poo. You could walk hardly anywhere without stepping in poo.

You ever scoop horse poo? Now, that's a job. I'd never seen so much poo. Uncle Fay was always scoopin' it out of the barn. Well, he talked me and my sister into helping him one day. We made short work of it. Instead of a wheelbarrow, he had this wagon hooked up to a tractor. We'd scoop the poop and throw it into the wagon. What my sister and I didn't know was that there was a cow barn or two also.

Did you know that scoopin' poop can be an all day job? We didn't.

And once you fill up that wagon, you have to also unload that wagon. The ranch had a special place to unload all that poo. Our cousins called it, POOP MOUNTAIN. You have never seen such a HUGE pile of poo in your life. And there was more than one of these mountains. Now, why in the world would you have all of these piles of poo?  They were so big that one time Uncle Fay had several of these big old belly dump type trucks come out to the ranch, and they used a front end loader to load up the trucks, and haul away the poo.

Well, my cousins, being the way they are, always had something going on, even if it was a little on the scary -- or just a might illegal -- side. Did you ever have a road apple fight? Do you know what road apples are? If not, it's horse poo. And when it dries it is almost like throwing dirt clods, except that if you get hit in the face with one??? It doesn't taste like dirt.

Every now and then we would all end up at POOP MOUNTAIN and have some of the best poop fights in the world. 'Course, once the flinging of the poo starts, there is more than road apples being thrown. Did you know that you can throw a cow patty just like a Frisbee? But, you have to make sure it is dry enough.

It was so much fun. Where else could you throw stuff and not have to worry about knocking someone out or putting a lump on someone's head. The only bad thing was that you had to watch how you laughed. If your mouth was open too far you could get a pie or apple right in the mouth. But we never knocked a tooth out, like you could with a dirt clod.

It seemed that Aunt Nadine always knew when we had been out to POOP MOUNTAIN. She would catch us about 20 or 30 feet from the back door and make us get undressed on the back porch. And then it was straight to the tub for a bath. Once, Aunt Nadine was gone and Old Joe saw us coming. When we got close enough, he told us to turn around and march down toward the horse barn. When we got down to the barn, he made us get undressed, and he proceeded to pick us up one at a time and throw us into the horse trough. He made us scrub up and he used a pitch fork to pick up our clothes, which he then carried at arm's length, up to the back porch.

When Aunt Nadine came home, we were still in the trough, splashing and having a good time. Old Joe told her where we had been. She laughed that he didn't take us into the house and use the tub. Old Joe rolled a smoke, looked Nadine square in the eye, and said "water is water."

19 comments:

  1. Ah yes. A shovel of horse poop can have so many colors in it! Our neighbor didn't shovel out his stalls, and every year the horses stood higher and higher...

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  2. lotta joy, I hear ya. We use to have so much fun on the ranch. I can remember them taking a bulldozer in one of the corrals. And scraping up all the old poo, and piling it in the middle of the corral. Soon the cows could climb to the top. We use to play King of the hill in that corral.

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  3. Your story put such a smile on my face! I am the mother of three sons, all close in age, and I actually survived to tell about it! Oh the damage they could have done at Poop Mountain and to each other. Would have been right up their alley. Anything that involved getting dirty was the best fun for them. I should write a book I have so many stories. Thank goodness for soap! Sounds like you had an interesting and fun childhood.

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    1. Retta Parker, thanks for stopping by. I think my childhood was different than the kids I went to school with. But, as kids, my brother and I, and sisters, had a blast. Add to that, that My Dad was no slouch when it came to playing with us kids. Even as teenagers. And we got to spend lots of summers at the ranch.

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  4. I once was at my great Uncle's farm. I climbed over the fence to see the bull better and decided to pop him between the eyes with a cow pie-semi fresh. Well, for once my aim was true and it busted him right between the eyes; he then proceeded to charge at the offender(me) and my little 7 year old life was saved by my Dad, who reached over and flung me by both galluses of my overalls over the fence. We both landed on our butts and Dad proceeded to chew on me a bit, after he determined I was still alive. The bull did look pretty funny with cow sh*& between theose horns, though...

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    1. Hillbilly, I would of liked to see that. LOL! My Uncle had a bull. Huge thing. That was kinda slow, brain wise. Some times he thought he was a dog. And would follow you around, and now and then, kind of push you with his head if you were not walking fast enough.

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  5. Currently 'helping' a relative clean out his stalls. He rarely does it. He has 8 stalls and only 3 horses. So, when one gets high they just move to another. We have gathered 3 55 gal. drums so far and are just now in need of more. Guess what we'll be doing, at least one morning, Memorial Day weekend?

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    1. DFW, Thanks for stopping by. Sorry it took some time to get back to you. As a kid, it seemed fun. As I got older, it was more of a job. Sounds kinda like your friend might want to build some more stall's. LOL!

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  6. What a pooping fantastic story. Thanks, I enjoyed it.

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    1. Stephen, thanks, hope it brought a smile to your face. Sorry it took me some time to get off a reply to you.

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  7. HA! my brother and I had the dried poop clod fights growing up...I also remember spreading poop on all the gardens and flower beds. UGH! I swore I would never touch poop again...and here I am. We use it in the garden now, hahah

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    1. LB@Bullits And Biscuits, Thanks for stopping by. I hear ya. I just spread some on our yard just the other day. Our dog loves it. HA! Sorry it took a while to get a reply out to you.

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  8. Yep, I've done most of that. I had 72 rabbits when I was a kid. That is some fantastic fertilizer (and the rabbits are yummy).

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    1. 45er, how old were you when you had your rabbits? I haven't had rabbit meat in about 10 years. I got to where I hated scooping out the under side of the hutches. At least until my grandfather gave me a raise from 25 cents, to 75 cents. Then it didn't seem so bad. LOL! Thanks for stopping by.

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    2. Sorry, tried to respond on my phone, but that was a disaster. Just getting back to this. I got my first rabbits when I was around 13 and had them until I was 17 or 18. I did the whole mess: helped my dad build the hutches, bred them, cleaned under and inside the cages, fed them, kept the fire ants off of them and helped my dad butcher them. I love that my dad made me take care of the chickens and other animals. I know it instilled responsibility in me. Yes, the meat was fantastic and I cooked it all of the time. I miss it and now when I look for some just to try again, all I see is $$$. I need to go hunt some cottontails this fall.

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  9. That is fantastic, I had tears running down my face.

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    1. heathenwrangler, thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked it. There's more if you go back to some older posts.
      Sorry it took a while to get a reply out to you.

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  10. yer killing me with this story Flier - bahahahahah! i didn't grow up on a farm so no poop stories....but i did grow up near a coalfield and bootleg coalmine. when us kids played there during the day we would come home covered in coaldust - my poor mom would throw me and my sister and brother in a big iron tub out in the yard and scrub us down. the water would be black when we got out!

    again - loved this story, buddy! your friend,
    kymber

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    1. kymber, glad you liked it. Ha! We had neighbors in Arkansas, that had a coal furnace. And when they got their coal delivered, the truck would just dump it in there back yard. then when the Dad got home, he would have all of his kids, four of them, and lots of us neighborhood kids, to help him get it shoveled into what he called his basement. We also ended up taking a bath outside, except ours was in a wading pool. AAHH the good old day's.
      Sorry it took a while to get a reply out to you.

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