Tuesday, November 26, 2013

TP PREP: Sshhh! No one's looking

Can you ever have to much TP? I don't think so. It could even be used to barter with. I mean, how many rolls can you carry if you have to bug out? Have you ever ran out of TP, and had to wipe your bum with leaves? And what if your bug out location has been invaded by rodents? Do you use a roll that has been munched by them boogers? 

It is hard to fold one of them rolls and put it in your pocket. How many squares do you allow each person to use when it is time to do the paperwork? With leaves, do you have any idea how many it will take to get the job done --hope that you don't use poison oak or poison ivy. I would not suggest the use of pine cones. You might need to use them for fire starter.

I guess we could all do like the Romans and each one of us carry our very own sponge and vinegar. Or do like some pets do and see if we can drag our butts on the rug. 'Course that might be kind of hard to do in the wild. Nothing worse than your shorts being full of pine needles and such. So, what should we do? Toilet paper does not weigh all that much. But if you had to carry a 100 rolls or so, you would need some help.

Here is a thought. Every time you go to a fast food place, like McDonalds, Subway, Pizza Hut or the like, grab an extra handful of napkins. Before you know it you could have enough napkins to fill a shoe box. Now, myself, I like the napkins from Subway. They seem to be the gentlest on your backside. McDonalds napkins are more like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood toilet paper. (If you don't know what that means, ask someone.)

You want to look for napkins that are absorbent, easy to unfold, and gentle on your private parts. You don't want anything that is rough or that you can see wood chunks in. Try to stay with napkins in white. Colored napkins might run and leave you with your privates in different colored shades. (That's a story for another time.) Napkins fold nice and you can carry quite a few at one time. 

They also work pretty good if you are a hunter and looking for a blood trail. The colored napkins can be used to mark your trail to and from your tree stand or duck blind. Try not to use any napkins with your company logo, name, or address on them. (Some people are so nosy!)  I'm sure that you can come up with some other uses for your napkins. Like as a bib for when you eat real juicy strawberries, ribs, burgers, and other mouth watering things. When you're done with using it as a napkin you could fold it right up and still use it for later when nature calls.

So, don't throw them napkins away! Save 'em, hoard 'em, trade 'em (barter), even snitch a few. They won't miss 'em. You can even use them as a doily for when you're in camp, to show the others that you're not totally uncivilized. (Don't forget to hold out your little pinky when you drink.)

So, prep on my friends.


  1. No action is complete until the necessary paper is performed.

    Great post.

    1. Matt, thanks. I've got a friend, that is married, with three kids. He only allows them so many squares of TP per week. He has it on a graph. His wife thinks he is nuts. LOL! She started buying her and the kids their own rolls, that they keep in their rooms. And told them not to use Dad's TP, What a hoot.
      It's throw his whole count, and graph off.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I wonder, do you think my bagged stash of dried corncobs sufficient....

    1. Stephen, gather as many corncobs as you can. Those that you don't use, you could make into corncob pipes. LOL! And just so you know, I have used corncobs a few times myself. That's really roughing it.

      Take care my friend, and say howdy, and give a hug to sweet wife for us.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.