SURVIVAL STUFF: For home or camping

Sometimes it's good to have some things around in case of an emergency at home, camping, or on the road. We always hope that we will not have to use any of it, but it is good to have around.


You can use hand sanitizer to start a fire. Just about everybody has some, and it keeps well.

Cotton balls can make another good fire starter. You take cotton balls and put Vaseline on them, then put them in baby food jars with the lids on them. They keep for quite a while, too.

Either way -- if you have a power outage or need to get your fireplace going or need to light some wet wood. you're good to go.


Also, lots of us out there have those little tea light candles. If you put some in small jars (like baby food jar size), put in a book of matches, and put the lids on tight you have enough light to get from one room to another. I have two or three of these, that I take hunting and camping. I also have two of these in my truck just in case I ever need them.


You can do that with bigger candles and bigger jars. You could also take a piece of emery cloth and glue it to the inside of the lid for striking kitchen matches on. Keep all your candles in one spot so you do not have to run around the house looking for them.


Just a little planning ahead will save you some time if you ever come to needing them. How else will you find a snack in the dark?

HOLIDAY BELLY

It is four days past Christmas. I found out last night that I can no longer see my feet. I think there was a eruption on the Isle of Belly. Also, my pants do not fit right. They keep sliding down. Kathi told me that I have Hank Hill butt syndrome. (If you have ever seen the show, you know what she means.) 'Course, I think that small butts run in the family. My Dad's is so small that he now wears suspenders.


Anyway, The Isle of Belly seems to have expanded some and now has two little Isles on both sides now. (Known as love handles to some.) The funny thing is I have not gained any more weight. OK, maybe like two pounds since Christmas. I also noticed that the shower seems a little smaller also. I dropped my wash rag, and it took me three or four minutes to find it. I had to use my feet to locate it, then push it around some to where I could bend -- more like a squat -- to pick it up. I guess I was making some type of noise while doing this, cause Kathi came to the door and asked if I was all right.


I have also noticed that when we go bowling on Thursday nights I make my approach different than I used to. Also, it is harder to see those little dots on the floor. So I just kind of guess where to stand before making my approach. It must be working, 'cause I was able to bowl a 234 last week. I have also noticed that I seem to walk down hill a little faster. I tried to ride my bicycle and had to put more air in the tires. Plus, I found it harder to get to my water bottle. And it seems that the hills by our house have gotten steeper.


I do exercise. I do lots of push ups and push aways. And I walk. Like, at the sportsman shows. Or gun shows. And lots of walking when swinging our metal detector. There is also bending involved in metal detecting and lots of exercise when we go gold prospecting. So I am active to some degree. Course, I'm sure that age has something to do with my weight also.


Those who remember me from when we were in school together know that I could eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. Now it has caught up to me and I didn't really see it coming. But, the new year is coming up and I have a diet plan ready to go. If it does not work, it is going.

So I am still looking for one of those little palm trees that came with the little turtles that we use to be able to buy as pets back in the '60s.


If you know where to get one of them little palm trees or if you have one, let me know. The Isle of Belly looks pretty bare when I am in the pool and floating on my back. I still can't believe that I scared myself in the pool.

AFTER CHRISTMAS

Well, I do not know about the rest of you, but am I bushed and overfed. And what about all that mess of wrapping paper, boxes, bows, empty battery cartons, ribbons, and such? Who is going to clean up all that stuff? How many toys are already broken or have dead batteries? And, who ate that last bit of fudge that you were saving for yourself?


How was the trip to see grandma or other family members? Did you remember to load up all the gifts before you left the house, or were you one of those who got snowed in and couldn't even get out of the driveway? (Could be lucky in some ways.) Or maybe were you lucky enough to have the whole gang over and this Christmas was the best yet!


Our Christmas was a little on the quite side this year. I didn't get the Christmas lights up on our house this year, which is okay. I did get up our new fake tree and our dog Nugget left it standing this year, though we did have a close call or two when someone would come to the door. I also put up my parents tree at their house in Loveland. Even though our Dad is still in the hospital, he is doing a lot better and may get to go home on Wednesday. They spent Christmas together, and some people who work at the hospital had Christmas dinner made for the folks on their floor. My Dad also has had quite a few doggie visits and they perk him right up.


The rest of the family did their own thing. We had good food more than once, and I fed my face way to much. I smoked a good-sized ham, and it went fast. I can take what's left and make a BIG pot of beans. Our pinto bean fudge is almost gone, with no side effects of gas (for those of you who asked), but my dentist might give me a hard time. And now we wait for New Year's and we will be doing this all over.


Thankfully, we do not have any parties to go to this year. So Kathi and I will stay at home, watch old movies, feed our faces, and avoid all the hassle of being out on the road with all the others. It is safer that way and it will give us some time to be alone and relax from Christmas. I just feel sorry for the trash guy that picks up our trash. I never knew that two people and one dog could make so much mess on Christmas morning. We had all of the pots and pans to get clean in the kitchen, not to mention cleaning up the smoker. But it is worth it and we do enjoy the holidays.

Now, I'm wondering how our dog poop guy is going to feel. Nugget has had all kinds of doggy cookies, tidbits of food, and treats out the wazoo. Not that we spoil him or anything.

I just need to slip into my expando pants and take out the trash. And if I could find my slippers. . .oh, wait! I already have them on. I'm all set. I think I need a extra large zipper on my coat. So bring on the New year!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: 12/27/2010

"Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
Sir Norman Duckworth Kerr MacEwen
British Royal Air Force Officer

Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho. . . the more you eat the more you. . .no -- wait -- that's the wrong song.
Jingle bells, Santa smells. . . oh. Wrong song again.

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Be safe and have a great Christmas.

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas. . . ah -- finally got it right!

CHRISTMAS: 3 days and counting

It's coming up fast. Do you have everything ready? Shopping all done? Packages all sent off in the mail? All packages wrapped? Do you have your Christmas meal all planned out? How about your Christmas tree? Have you kept it watered (if you have a real tree)? Have you checked all the lights for the tenth time to make sure that none are burned out? Are you sure that you have hidden the gifts from the little ones? (My Dad hid some one year, and the next year he found them from the year before!) Do you have all your travel plans in order? Is your auto all ready for that long road trip to Grandma's house?

If you have everything ready and in order --great! How about taking a little time for yourselves, if you can. Send the little ones off to bed a little early. Maybe have a little glass of wine or some hot cider. Maybe set in front of a nice fire, and kick back for a little bit. You have earned it.

Our parents use to say that they had some last minute shopping to do. It took us a year or two to figure that they went to a party. We finally figured that you do not put on your Sunday best to go elbow-to-elbow with all the last minute shoppers. They always came home much happier after those last minute shopping sprees.

'Course, while they were gone, the hunt was on for our gifts. We would listen to Christmas carols and each of us would take a part of the house and search like a mad man. If we found someone else's gift we would let out a holler. Maybe every once in a while we might check for some little corner of the wrapping paper that might not be taped down all that good and sneak a peek to see what it was.

The parents were on to that little trick. One year they bought me a Hot Wheels set and they put it all in a JC Penney sweater box. Boy, was I surprised on Christmas morning! Our folks did fun stuff like that over the years, and just not at Christmas time.

Dad would get up and play with all of us kids and our friends. One year we got a ping pong table for Christmas. Man! We had our friends over. Our Dad would teach everyone how to play. That Christmas, and through the new year, our house was the place to be. If parents were missing their kids, they called our house 'cause nine times out of ten they were at our place.

The ping pong table had other uses. My sisters used it to lay out patterns for dress making after Mom got a sewing machine for Christmas one year.

As Christmas comes on, take some time for yourself and maybe think back to some of the Christmases you have had over the years. Maybe be a little sneaky this year with the gifts. Put some gifts in different boxes. Or maybe wrap up a gift, put it in a bigger box, add some bricks to the bottom of the bigger box. Really makes them wonder. One of my best friends used almost a whole roll of duct tape on a gift for me one year. I thought I'd never get that puppy open! I was just glad that it was something that wouldn't spoil.

So, enjoy the holidays, hang some mistletoe, hug and smile at somebody. It makes them wonder what you're up to. Chug some hot chocolate. Keep warm and safe. Feed your face with good food and we will worry about our diets later. (I have my diet all picked out, just waiting for Santa to bring it to me.) It has beans on the menu. . .

SORRY: To all that follow my Blog.

Sorry about not having a post up this morning. I was in Loveland All day yesterday. My Dad has been in the hospital since the 10th. He has some health problems going on, that seem like they will never end. But as of today, he seems to be better. So thank you for being patient.

FEED YOUR FACE: Beans, Beans. . .

Everybody sing! Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat. . . well, you know.

Beans are fun and almost everybody likes beans in some form or another. There are so many types of beans! Green beans, black beans, kidney beans, chili beans, pinto beans, Navy beans, white beans, pork-n-beans, beanie wienies, jelly beans. Pick the ones you like.

There are lots of things you can make with beans. You can glue them down on cardboard and make a bean picture. Iwish I could remember the right name for that! You can pour different types of beans into jars, layered, to make a pretty calico bean soup mix. Then, there are even some desserts you can do with beans. Today, we're gonna make Pinto Bean Fudge. Yay! It takes just five ingredients. Or six if you add nuts. And you can, if you want to.

It's simple to do. Here's what you need:
1 cup of cooked pinto beans, mashed
3/4 cup of melted butter
1 T. vanilla
3/4 cup of baking cocoa
2 pounds of powdered sugar

• First, mash the beans. I used a potato masher, 'cause I like to still be able to tell there are beans in there. If you don't, then use a food processor so you can get them real smooth. Ummmm. . . looking at those mashed beans makes me hungry for burritos.

Then, combine the mashed beans with the melted butter, vanilla, and cocoa.

After that's all combined, add the powdered sugar. You can also add 1/2 cup of chopped nuts or so. I don't 'cause I'm allergic to the good ones (pecans, walnuts, etc.). Nothing serious -- I just get little blisters on my tongue. But enough about me. Go ahead: I won't feel bad if you add 'em. Well, unless you share yours with me, that is. Well, and then only my tongue will feel bad.

Combine everything together really good until it is all blended. This is good exercise for your stirring arm.

Then, butter a 9"x13" pan. Spread the fudge mixture into the pan. Then put it in your refrigerator. That's where you'll have to store this fudge or it will get too soft.

We usually cut ours into about 60 pieces, 'cause it's kinda rich and you'll probably only want a little piece at a time. Unless you are a chocoholic, then feel free to make this just one big piece.

After it has chilled awhile, we usually cut it into pieces then move it into a food storage bag or little plastic container so it doesn't dry out. You can avoid the drying out part it you eat it fast.

Now, go ahead and make this tasty fudge recipe, and FEED YOUR FACE!

CHRISTMAS CARD: For all of you who read my bog

Well it is Monday, and just five more days 'til Christmas. I want to thank all of you who have been following my blog. I hope that you have found some helpful things and that maybe I have put a smile on your face every now and then. I hope to make some improvements and will add some new stuff along the way. I also want to put up more photos of places and people I know.

So, if you would please go to the link below I will do a little dance for you for Christmas.

Now I can say that I have finished up all my Christmas cards to family, friends, and to all my readers. Again, thank you one and all.

http://www.dancingsantacard.com/?santa=383528

SLEDDING

How many of you remember the sleds with runners? I saw one here the other day in a catalog. Man, did that bring back some memories! We got our first runner sled for Christmas way back in 1962. We were told to share, but my sister was more interested in some dumb old doll, so I pretty much had the sled to myself.

The street out in front of our house had one of them hills that you could run faster than the sled could slide. And I could only get the sled to slide maybe about 15 feet or so and then I would have to push it again to get it going, then again would go about 15 feet. This went on for several hours and the rest of the kids were passing me like I was setting still, which I was pretty much doing anyway. I could not figure how to make the sled go. I mean, the others would pass me and they were not going all that fast, but they were at least getting down to the bottom of the street.

Then I just happened to see the bully kid of our street put something on the runners of his sled. When he did he could push his sled about 10 feet, hop on his belly, and sled to the end of the street. It took me like two weeks trying to find out what everyone was using. Of all things, they rubbed soap on the runners! I had asked my Dad why my sled would not slide, and he asked me if I had put any soap on the runners. I guess I gave him my stupid look or something. He rolled his eyes and went and got this bar of soap from the bathroom. It was one of those bars that just kind of sets in that little dish thing by the tub. You know, it always slimy, and it kind of mushes in your hand when you hold it.

Now, how in the world am I supposed to carry this slime thing on me? You can't put it in your pocket. I found out that just makes your pocket yucky. And if you put it in a lunch bag, you cannot get that sucker out if your life depended on it. It is like using liquid soap. You try to rub it on the runners and it just kind of runs down your arm more than on the runners. When you get this soapy yuck on your hands do not (I repeat, do NOT) rub your face or get it near your eyes or try to rub your runny nose. Bad, bad idea.

If you get it in your eyes, they will never quit watering and you can't see. It burns like crazy and, if it is really cold, you end up with these little icicles hanging off your eye lashes, and the corners of your eyes. What's really bad is if you get this stuff anywhere near your runny nose, you get these little frozen snot bubbles. I'm not kidding now. I swear that I saw a kid with them. Man you get those and you can kiss your nose goodbye. A fellow could get his nose frost bitten real quick. And if you're one of those kids that kind of has his tongue sticking out whenever they do anything, you can freeze your tongue to your lips, and then the girls make fun of you.

So, there I stood, slimy soap in my hand, 'cause now it is frozen there. And I have these little icicles hanging off of my eye lashes, and the ones that are stuck to the corners of my eyes have kind of run back towards my ears. My tongue is stuck to my upper lip and I can't talk. Then, to top it all off, I have this little frozen snot bubble hanging out of my nose like some little shiny Christmas ornament. But you know what? I made it to the bottom of that hill. Man, what a thrill! I must have made a zillion runs on the street that day. Only one person gave me a hard time about it and that was my grandmother, when I came in to thaw out. She said that I had enough soap on my face that I would not have to wash my face for a week.

So, that pretty much sums up my first sledding adventure. After that I kept my nose hair trimmed way back and would only use a new bar of soap for my runner sled.

9 DAYS 'TIL CHRISTMAS

So after today we have 9 days 'til Christmas. As of last night, we here in the Denver area still do not have any snow on the ground. I think that is due to the fact that I got my snow blower ready at least a month ago. But it is getting colder at night. It is nice to watch the Christmas tree in our living room. Every year it seems that we do it up perfect. 'Course, how can you go wrong with a fake tree that has all the lights already on it? Just unbox it, set it in a tree stand, fluff some branches, add decorations, plug that sucker in, and you have your tree done. You know, it is fast and you save some money every year. But, I still sometimes want to have a real tree. Yeah, they can be a pain. But to me, a real tree is more about Christmas.

When I was a little kid we knew it was Christmastime at home when we went out and got the Christmas tree. I can remember going out in the snow, in the car, with my great grandfather and my sister and maybe a few of my cousins. We would jump in Papa's 1960 Chevy Biscayne. (This was my first car -- the HOOPY as we called it.)

We would drive up in the hills around Fraser, Colorado. We would take some hot chocolate, sandwiches, and some fruit. When we arrived at the forest entrance, the ranger at the gate would check our permit. The snow was deep and the wind had a bite to it. When we found a place to pull off the road we had to be sure that we were not going to get stuck. Then we all would take off and look for that perfect tree. Sometimes it didn't take too long, other times it seemed to take hours.

Once the tree was found, Papa would let us take turns cutting the tree down. When it was cut, we then had to find our way back to the car. Once at the car, we kids would get in, Papa would start the car, and he would proceed to tie the tree to the top of the car. By the time he had done that the car was nice and warm. We would finish up the hot chocolate and sandwiches, then make our way back to Mama & Papa's house in Kremmling.

When we would get to their house, we kids would rush in and Mama would stop us at the back door. She would make us brush off all the snow, take off our wet socks, and she would hand us each a pair of warm socks that she had setting in the oven. I can remember how warm they felt on my feet and how warm their little house was. Papa would bring the tree in and Mama had everything ready. The stand was in front of the big window, and several boxes of decorations were open and waiting. We would decorate the tree, listen to Christmas carols, and drink so much hot chocolate that our grandparents thought we would burst. We never really spent Christmas with them, that I can remember. But they were always at our house on Christmas Eve.

I thought about it, and I think we only had a real tree for Christmas maybe 12 times or so in my lifetime. Maybe next year we will have a real tree. I'm sure once it is up and decorated all of those memories, sights, sounds, and smells of Christmases past will come flooding back. Thoughts of family and friends who have passed will bring a tear or two, as well as the joy that Christmas brings every year.

I hope that all of you will have a Christmas that brings you all together, and hope that loved ones who are overseas or away from home make it home for Christmas.

So, have a mug of hot chocolate or a big glass of eggnog and hug the people that are here with you now. Hang up some extra mistletoe. It never hurts to give out a few more kisses. Be kind to others, always.

Our family wishes all of you and yours a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

OOPS

Aw jeez, I blew it, I messed up. Sorry that I missed my blog for today. Things happen, Too many things going on at one time. Too many Christmas goodies to munch on, that make you want to take a nap. More Christmas shopping then one person can handle and that makes you to want to take a nap. And then putting up the tree, decorating the front yard, hanging them lights only to find out that some of them won't plug in. Running extention cords to run all the lights. Then there is replacing all of those little lights that are burned out and that makes you to want to take a nap. Did I mention all the goodies to munch on also make you want to take a nap?

Then we have the crowds of people at the stores. It makes you to want to pull out your hair at times. Walking the mall. Which makes you to want to take a nap. And all those little vendors who sell all the little samples of munchies that taste so good at the time because you have been running around the mall for over four hours and needed something to eat. Then you still have not finished your shopping! You still need to pick up things for the people you work with and that makes you to want to take a nap. And even taking a nap leaves you tired.

Then we have the parking lot. Makes me yawn just saying it. You drive around, and around, and around looking for any spot -- don't even worry about a close-in one -- even when it is three miles away at the far end of the lot. You have to walk all that way to the store. As you walk, all you see is a sea of shopping carts, and the people pushing them are guys who look like they could use a nap, but it seems that the women have smiles on their faces. Maybe because they have dragged the husbands with so they can't take a nap!

You see all of the empty carts outside the store, never thinking of taking one because they will have carts in the store. Then when you get in the store, you find that there are no carts. So, back out to the parking lot to get a cart. And, of course, all of the close ones have been taken so you end up almost walking back to where you parked to get a cart. How many of them carts end up putting new dings and dents on your car that you won't find until you wash off your car later in the week?

Then there are the Christmas parties. If you go to enough of them, you want to take a nap. The food they serve is filling and good and you forget all about your diet and trying to get rid of the isle of belly. When you finish, it is time for a nap. When the party is where you work you have to be on your best behavior. No letting your hair down. No dancing with the lady from accounting. Watch how much you drink and watch out who you talk to. You don't want anything bad said that might get you in trouble later on. You really can't have that much fun anyway, because you're thinking about what your kids are up to back at home. Have they been sneaking looks at gifts, or looking for where you have hidden the presents? It is all so tiring, you want to take a nap.

So, I messed up. I took a nap. And my wife Kathi was nice enough not to wake me. I only got up because the phone rang. It was Kathi, reminding me that we have a party to go to tomorrow. So now I'm doing my blog entry for today. Then I think that Nugget and I will take a little nap, so that we will be nice and refreshed for when Kathi gets home.

Now, where are those sugar cookies and eggnog?

FEED YOUR FACE: Christmas Cookies

Christmas is just around the corner, and lots of people like to make homemade cookies.

At our house, and through the years, the one major cookie we have always made is the sugar cookie. Plain dough, red dough, green dough. And then you have the sprinkles, colored sugar, them little round balls things in silver and gold. And let's not forget all the different cookie cutters: stars, bells, reindeer, Santa, Christmas trees, and all the others. And they come in different sizes.

When we were kids, we went to great lengths to make all the sugar cookies look really neat and cute. Sometimes it took about 5 minutes just to do one cookie. You really had to have a bit of artist in you. Like those little silver and gold balls? They had to be put on the green cookies that were Christmas trees to look like ornaments.

Then there is the icing to put on them for garland and stuff. And if you did a gingerbread man sugar cookie, you had to do the face and some type of clothes for it. No nude-y ginger man cookies in our house! And I always did the eyes on them. You know, you have to put just a little drop of white icing for each eye. Then you had to put a smaller drop on each eye to give them blue eyes or green eyes and even red eyes. And it never failed -- every eye I ever did came out looking crosseyed. It was really upsetting. How in the world can you give Santa a crosseyed sugar gingerbread man?

That's probably why I didn't get some of the presents I asked for from Santa. You try eating a crosseyed sugar gingerbread man cookie that is staring at you crosseyed! You'd end up with milk coming out your nose or you'd end up choking on one of those little silver or gold ball things. And the other cookies? You spend all of this time making them look really neat. Did Santa ever leave you a note saying how nice your cookies looked? I never got one. They were always just wolfed down, an empty glass with a little bit of milk left in the bottom and an empty plate with some cookie crumbs. And that was that.

One year my sister Lenora and I had a great idea. There used to be a feed store not too far from our house. That year when we went to the feed store with Pappy to get some rabbit feed, my sister and I snitched some hay. We stuffed hay in our coat pockets, we filled our pants pockets, and it seems that I even had hay stuffed down my pants. (Another reason for revenge on my sister, see my blog from last week titled, "Butt Sniper.") We figured that we would leave a bite of hay for each of Santa's reindeer. We even put ribbons on each handful, with each reindeer's name. Now, how many kids would think that far out of the box? We were ahead of our time. We just knew that with the hay and cookies we would get all the things we wanted that year.

Guess what? Christmas morning, we got up extra early. (All of the adults loved that year.) And, sure enough, the milk was gone, just a little left in the bottom of the glass. All the cookies were gone. The bites of hay were gone. And under the tree that year we got everything that we had asked for, except I still did not get my full-sized robot to do my biding or the space bike, like from the old TV show Fire Ball XL 5. (Anybody remember that one?)

Make some holiday cheer, make some sugar cookies, decorate them suckers, and see if you can make them without crossed eyes. Have some fun and think of some of the Christmases past. I know that it will put a smile on your face.

So feed your face! and go easy on the food coloring in the cookie dough. I had green teeth for about three days one year.

Enjoy!

Sour Cream Rollout Cookies (soft sugar cookies)

• 1 cup butter


• 2 cups sugar


• 1 cup sour cream


• 3 egg yolks


• 1 t. baking soda


• 1 t. vanilla


• 1/8 t. salt


• 4-3/4 cups flour

Cream the butter and sugar. Add the egg yolks. Combine the soda with the sour cream. (Don't freak out if it foams up a little.) Add to the butter mixture, then add the vanilla and salt. Add flour in two portions until combined. Chill dough overnight, or at least four hours. Roll out, cut, and bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 12 minutes, depending on size and thickness.

You could also add food coloring to the dough if you want some colors. Or add orange, lemon, almond, or peppermint extract if you want a little something extra.

Decorate with sprinkles of some type before baking, or ice these after they have cooled. Now, feed your face!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."

Toni Morrison
Nobel Prize - Winning American Author

FEED YOUR FACE: Beer Bread

It is time for baking. I love to bake when I have the time. It has been a while since I have cranked on the oven.
Beer Bread is sooooooo good and it goes with so many different types of food. When it is winter time, it goes with every thing I can think of. Even spaghetti, throw on a little bit of garlic butter -- yum.

I got this recipe from my grandmother Helen.

She would buy a six pack of beer. She used to get the little cans of Coors, the kind that gives you only about 4 ounces or so. Once she bought the beer it would set in her fridge, ice cold, for about 4 weeks. Then she would announce that it was time to make some beer bread. But first, she would take one can, open it, pour about half into a small juice glass, drink it, and give the rest to my grandfather Pappy, who would down it in one gulp. (Stingy! He did not even offer me any!) Then she would proceed to use up the rest of the six pack for her beer bread.

So lets get ready, and do some beer bread. Here is what you need.

• 3 cups of self-rising flour
• 1/4 cup of sugar
• 12 oz of beer (or you can use some kind of soda pop if you would rather and it will still be good)
• 1/2 stick of butter, melted

Combine the flour, sugar, and beer (or whatever liquid). Pour it into a greased loaf pan or dutch oven. Pour the butter over the top. Bake at 375 for about an hour.

Eat it with lots of butter and homemade jelly or honey and FEED YOUR FACE!

DID YOU KNOW: Chuck Wagon?

Did you know that Charles Goodnight, who was a Texas rancher, cattle king, and co-founder of the famous "Goodnight Loving Trail," introduced the first chuck wagon in 1866?

It was made of wood and drawn by oxen.

BUTT SNIPER

Do any of you remember the TV show: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. ? Man I loved that show. Back in the '60s I had a lot of Man from U.N.C.L.E. toys. In fact, I still have one of the toy guns. It was the cigarette lighter/radio, gun. It was soooooooooo cool. One year, for Christmas, while we lived at our Grandmother's house, I got the THRUSH sniper rifle. Man, that thing had it all.


It had infrared scope, and you could turn a little wheel on it to change the target. Like, one was of a tank, another was of a soldier, and another one was of a PT boat. Then if you flipped it one more turn you had regular rifle sights and you could shoot off caps. It was the best present in the world. I don't remember what else I got that year. Probably the usual, socks, underwear, sweater -- you know, the not fun stuff.


So any way, I had this rifle and I shot more bad guys then John Wayne, Roy Rogers, The Cisco Kid, Gene Autry, and Vic Morrow (from Combat) ever had. It was my pride and joy. I spent all the change I could find, beg, borrow, and (yeah) snitch for caps. I shot so many caps that I really had to clean it so the caps would run through the rifle.


Then one night, my sister and I got into a fight about something. I don't even remember what it was about, but it must of been important at the time. She had my Thrush rifle and I had some dumb thing of hers and we were going back and forth. She hit me so I hit her back. This went on for several minutes. I told her if she hit me one more time I was going to break whatever it was that I had of hers. She said if I did, she would break that dumb gun of mine.


Well, that was that. I told her it was not some dumb old rifle. She knew how I felt about it! She got this mean-eyed stare, took the rifle by the barrel and by the back stock and SNAP -- she broke the rifle in two. I could not believe it! She really did it! I didn't know what to do. She then hauled off and hit me, took whatever it was I had of hers, dropped the two parts of my rifle and ran off.

I was in tears. I cried and cried. It was a good thing our Dad was not around because then the you know what would have hit the fan.


Our grandfather, Pappy, tried to fix my rifle by melting the barrel back on. It worked, but the damn barrel was bent and it just did not look as cool as it had. My sister was all smug and acting like it was not her fault. Well, I quit playing with that rifle. I put it away and brought it out just every now and then to play with.

But, it just wasn't right! So, it was then that I started to plan my revenge.


It took several months, and the weather got warmer. My plans were ready. I decided that I would get her back. She was in the backyard, setting on the ground, talking through the side fence to the girl next door. I went out the front door, and walked around the other side of the house. She couldn't see me. I got over next to our garage and lifted up the big garage door, just enough for me to squeeze through.

My dad had a little Daisy BB gun. He used it to shoot dogs in the butt to keep them from pooping in the yard and he was quite good at it.


So, I found the BB gun and gently crawled back out under the garage door. Then I crawled around to the other side of the garage, taking my time. I found a good spot in a lilac bush. I cocked the BB gun, took aim, and pulled the trigger. The BB went and hit the dirt about 20 feet behind her. She never heard it, nor did the girl she was talking to.

Now I was getting mad. What kind of BB gun was this!? I cocked it again, this time aimed it at my foot and pulled the trigger. Man! Did that hurt! Now I was trying to figure why it won't shoot so far.


I cocked it again, pulled the trigger, and the BB hit about the same spot. I cocked it again, took aim, raised the front of the barrel a little, and pulled the trigger. This time, the BB hit about a foot behind her. It then bounced and caught my sister in the left check of her butt. She screamed, the girl on the other side of the fence screamed, and I giggled. She jumped up and started to rub her butt very vigorously, still jumping up and down. I crawled out of the lilac bush over to the garage door, opened it just enough to get in, replaced the BB gun to its spot in the garage, crawled back out, and closed the big door all the way.


I then walked casually back towards the front of the house, then went up the street to my friend Marc's house. I stayed there for several hours playing. Of course I told Marc what I had done. We both laughed and laughed. Pretty soon, Grandmother called Marc's house and told me it was time to come home for dinner. So,I walked the 4 blocks back to our house.

When I got there, my sister was still sniffing and snotting all over the place. All of the grown-ups thought that she had been stung by a bee or bitten by an ant. I never said a word. And she did not have a mark on her.


For the rest of the summer, everytime she would set her butt at that same spot at the fence to talk to the girl next door, I would snipe her butt. I bet I shot her in the butt at least 20 times that summer and never did get caught. But once, my dad needed the BB gun to go after a big dog that kept pooping in the yard and digging up the flower garden. The dog would just jump the fence, do his thing, jump back over the fence, and go on his merry way. Well my dad grabbed the BB gun one day and found that there was not that many BB's left in the gun. He never asked, and I never told.


I didn't say anything for years. Then one day my sister and I got into another spat. I told her if she didn't hush up that I would shoot her in the butt. She turned red as a fire truck. I headed for the door. She figured it out. She broke a broom trying to get me.


Even now I don't turn my back on my sister, paybacks being what they are!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"The measure of a man's character is not what he gets from his ancestors, but what he leaves to his descendants."

Author unknown

FEED YOUR FACE: Indian Breakfast

This should feed your hungry tribe.

• 15 ounces of hominy
• 1 chopped onion
• 2 to 3 slices bacon, fried and crumbled
• dash of cayenne pepper
• 5 beaten eggs
• 1 bell pepper, finely chopped
  

Get out your cast iron skillet or big pan.

Saute the hominy, chopped up onion, and crumbled bacon in your skillet. You can use cooking oil or, as I do, bacon grease.

Add the cayenne and bell pepper.

Nex,t add the beaten eggs. Stir gently and leave the mixture on the heat until the eggs are almost done, like scrambled eggs. You want them a little on the soft side.

Serve up in a bowl, with some some biscuits you made up to go with, and some salsa.


Yum. My great grandmother use to make this for me and my sister until my sister decided she didn't like eggs (her loss.) Also I made this and fed it to Kathi when we first got together.


Give it a try, enjoy, and FEED YOUR FACE!

DECEMBER

I think that I like December best out of all the months. People seem to be in better moods and smile much more. It's like all the kids need to be on Ritalin or something, just to calm them down for a while. I do not remember being so hyped up about Christmas.


Do you remember Christmas catalogs? Yeah, we made list upon list. We would circle just about everything on the toy page. I remember my dad, on lots of occasions, just smiling as he dropped his head to his chest and shook his head and he always had this funny look on his face when it came time to get the Christmas tree and stuff from the attic. He always had good cheer. Lots of eggnog and beer, and mom had her wine and hot toddy's. They seemed to really like going to lots of Christmas parties.


Course, when they went to a party, we kids had full run of the house. Our parents trusted us to behave. And to some degree, I guess we did behave. As soon as the car was out of the driveway, we would crank up the stereo, turn the Christmas tree lights on, and turn out all the other lights in the house. We would then sneak a few beers from Dad's beer bar and pick out a present, then kind of peek under the wrapping paper to see what was there. Except, I think Mom and Dad had figured that one out and would put our gifts in different type of boxes with different labels.


One year I thought I was getting a radio 'cause the box said it was, and when I opened it on Christmas morning it was underwear. Now that's cheating on the parent's part.


One year, one of my sisters thought she was getting makeup 'cause when we peeked several days before the box said makeup and had pictures on it and everything. Know what she got? No, not underwear. She got a sweater.


Our Christmas tree was different also. Lots of people have different colored lights on them. Ours had all blue lights. 'Course I fell in love with it the following year. But one year, to be different, I changed one of the lights. We always had an angel on the top of the tree. That year I changed the light under her dress from blue to red. It stayed that way even after years of us kids not living at home.


And we had REAL tinsel, not that plastic crap that they sell now days. We had the real stuff. The leaded kind. Mom always wanted it put on the tree one strand at a time. We would stand on the back side of the tree and fling several strands at a time. It used to aggravate her to no end, then when she was hollering at us Dad would put on Christmas carols and hand her a glass of wine, and everything was fine.


Christmas Eve: oh, man -- the parents were really running around. I shared a bedroom in the basement with my brother. Mom and Dad had a bedroom downstairs also. My brother and I could hear our parents running and sneaking. Going up and down the stairs, and the sound of packages and boxes being carried upstairs to be placed under the tree, and every now and then the sound of a beer can being set down. They must have made over a million trips over the years, carrying all of those packages.


As I look back on it now, I guess all of us kids kind of drove our folks to drink. It seemed to calm them down. We thought that we were being good! Just a little bit on the wild side now and then. 'Course, they had their wild moments also. But that's another story for another time.

You know, I miss those Christmases and would give just about anything to be able to get us all together again for one more Christmas like that.

FEED YOUR FACE: Wintertime Drinks

Now that it's a little colder, it's time to break out the warm drinks. Here are just a couple favorites.

• Hot Dr. Pepper: We used to drink this at our high school football games; it was on the stadium menu. Just heat it up in a saucepan. You can add lemon slices if you want to.
• Hot Chocolate With Bailey's Irish Cream: Your favorite hot chocolate with just a splash (or two)
• Cinnamon Bear: Hot Chocolate with Cinnamon Schnaps
• Irish Coffee: Combine 1-1/2 oz. Irish whiskey, a teaspoon of brown sugar, and 6 oz. of hot coffee, in a mug and stir to dissolve the sugar. Float heavy cream on top (don't mix). Yum.
• Hot Apple Pie: Pour 2 oz. of Tuaca in a mug. Fill with apple cider. Top with whipped cream if you want to. You can garnish it with a cinnamon stick for a little extra cinnamon flavor.
• Hot Apple Cider: Just pour it from the bottle into a saucepan and heat it up! Add mulling spices for a little extra something.

So, drink up, warm up, and FEED YOUR FACE!